?

Log in

March 2011   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Wheee!

Arthur/Merlin Fanfiction Rec

Posted on 2011.03.14 at 20:43
Current Mood: blahblah
Tags: , ,
First off, let me make a few things clear:

1st - These are in no particular order (in terms of how good they are or anything else). 
2nd - This is for Kit who requested a rec list. (Hai Kit!)
3rd - Um...I don't really have a third. I just don't like ending in even numbers.

Oooh warnings:
  • Almost all will be AUs
  • Almost all of them are NC-17 
  • Almost all will have spoilers
  • All are Arthur/Merlin
  • THIS IS NOT A DEFINITE LIST. In fact, I'll probably be adding more and more as time passes.

Begin! 

rec!Collapse )

Cactus

The hum of our song

Posted on 2011.03.08 at 19:32
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: Three Rounds and A Sound ~ Blind Pilot
Tags: ,
---Collapse )

Cloud's silver lining

Fool me once...

Posted on 2011.03.07 at 23:11
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: I Keep Myself to Myself ~ The Boys Least Likely To
Tags: , , ,
Why is it that I keep making the same mistakes? It is horrifyingly disturbing that I haven't learned my lesson by now. 

Another day. Another lesson that I should keep myself to myself. 

At times like these, I like to think that Yes. In my next life, maybe if I plow through all this and am the best I can possibly be, I will be born normally. Or have a better mentality.

It is sad when reincarnation is one of the few things that keep me going. 

~P

On the edge

Enlightenment IV

Posted on 2011.03.04 at 23:00
Current Mood: thankfulappreciative
Current Music: Three Rounds and a Sound ~ Blind Pilot
Tags: , , ,
No matter what I do, no matter what I think, no matter what I choose, no matter what -- I know there will be two people who will never, ever abandon me. 

As a child, I have not given much thought to my parents. They were just...there. I mean, I suppose I could given a lot more thought to them but at the time, I was too busy doing something or another (like eating wall plaster or playing with the monkeys in the backyard). 

But then we moved to this new place, this new continent, and things changed. 

I was 9 when we moved and to be honest, I was a very impressionable child to begin with. Basically I went with the crowd and tried to stand out as little as possible. And because of certain language barriers I had few friends and so, I spent a lot of time with my parents. Even then, I didn't think much of them. I was more self-centered as a child should (somewhat) be and concentrated a lot on trying to put as little strain on them as possible. For example, I asked for very little. I mean, I knew we weren't dirt poor or anything but still I didn't like to spend their money or ask for things that I don't really need even if I really wanted them (for example, I asked for a dictionary on my ninth birthday). That was my life for a while. 

Come 5th grade, I grew resentful, hateful and probably every negative feeling in the world. I convinced myself that I hated my life and I hated everybody and I hated my parents. Every night, I'd recite that "I hate Ma and Pa and always will." 

I grew older and it was noticeable that I was pretty good in school and so, I was put in advanced classes. This changed things for me because now that I was in classes that were harder, I kind of had to somewhat, kinda (not really) work for my grades. Even then, I'd get really good grades and then it happened. 

I don't know whether this was a gradual process, but my parents were starting to become proud of me. I kept going into honors level classes and they were proud of me for that and they'd ask me "What do you want?" And I'd tell them I don't want anything because if I did want something, I'd want to buy it and if I wanted to buy that, I'd want to buy something else and if I wanted to buy something else, I'd want something else completely different. So the point was that I was lucky enough to realize that I was a selfish, greedy person and I'd rather have nothing than have to choose between everything. 

Years pass and I realize that I don't have to choose between everything. My parents made it perfectly clear to me one day that if I wanted something, if something made me happy, they would do everything within their power and more to get that for me. Anything I wanted, it was mine. 

And for that, I thank them. 

I really don't show much appreciation for my folks in real life because that would be weird, unnecessary and out of character. But I do appreciate them. Very much so. 

And because of this, I will do everything within my power to keep them happy. I know that it is their job to keep their children safe and to keep their children happy and all that lovely stuff but...my parents. They have been through so much and they will wholeheartedly disagree with this statement but: I feel like they deserve more happiness than I do.

I speak with complete honesty when I am the luckiest person ever to have the parents I do.

~P

Wheee!

When things don't go as planned

Posted on 2011.02.22 at 20:55
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: Fuck You ~ Lilly Allen
Tags: , , , , ,
Okay, I'm going to do something unorthodox (especially for my LJ). I'm actually going to talk about what happened today. 

unproductive but eventful day at schoolCollapse )


Colin and Bradley!

Redefining my bubble

Posted on 2011.02.17 at 19:27
Current Location: Gliese 581-d
Current Mood: indescribableempty
Current Music: Here Nor There ~ Andy Stochansky
Tags: , , ,
Long ago (in freshman year -- last year) I was friends with this one person. This person's name is Durpert. In real life, he/she is called something else but here, he/she shall be called Durpert for my own twisted reasons. See, when I got into this special/weird/exclusive high school, I was elated and nervous at the same time. For several reasons, actually.

Elated because finally, I feel somewhat accomplished that I've gotten accepted into an educational institution from which I can actually learn something that I will apply later in life (maybe?). Because I've made my parents proud which will always be a good thing because I care for them so, so much. Because I won't have to deal with high schoolers who are obnoxious/loud/annoying, etc. 

Nervous because I will have to make new friends. I'll have to ride a new bus (this always freaks me out, I don't know why). It's far away from where I live. The curriculum will rape my academic ass, beat it, shit on it and rape it again.

But the one thing - or person - that gave me a little comfort was Durpert. Well actually, I considered Durpert more of a rival for getting into the school in the first place because the smarter person automatically gets in. But since we both got in, it was okay. And we were friends from the same town and know what? We got along great!

It was fucking fantastic. I knew Durpert a little from 6th grade because he/she sat at my desk during Social Studies but that was it. I didn't know any else about him/her. Now that we go the same school though, we became best friendz forevasszz overnight. I really mean it. We had so, so much fun together, especially on the bus because we had other people from our town go to the same academy. I've never laughed so much in my life then. 

But it wasn't as if I shouldn't have been expecting this. I mean, I knew from the beginning that Durpert was OCD. Very OCD. It got in the way. For example, we'd be working on a Chemistry Lab and we would always argue about the protocol or the results or something. We were completely polar opposites. And sometimes that would work wonderfully in our favour. Other times, it would cause us to not speak to each other. 

We had very different opinions. I guess it could be said that I was laid-back while he/she was ... well, OCD. In retrospect, I should have seen it coming. 
.
.
.
i wish i was elsewhereCollapse )

Cloud's silver lining

I'm a fucking freak

Posted on 2011.02.13 at 20:24
Current Mood: sickfreaky
Tags: , ,
I'm a pretty weird person.

I know that. But what some people my find really weird are my thoughts sometimes. I'm not talking about those kinds of thoughts that involve two persons (probably of the male nature) in a very promiscuous position. Although I do think about that a lot more than would be considered healthy. Anyway. 

I think about painful situations. As in physical pain.

This is batshit crazy but sometimes, often in school, I think things that might not be considered normal. 

freaky shit don't readCollapse )

Or. 

more freaky shit don't readCollapse )

Or.

even more freaky shit don't readCollapse )
Do you see what I mean by painfully-freaky? It's really weird... 

I don't know if other people think about things like this or if this is even normal. It makes me a little self-conscious, especially in class because once I realize what I'm thinking, I look around to see if people are looking at me funny. I know people can't read minds (or can they?) but I just have to look around. And once I realize they don't, I then feel this overwhelming feeling of guilt for thinking such sick, horrible and vulgar things. 

Fuck.

~P

Cloud's silver lining
Posted on 2011.02.12 at 20:43
Current Mood: hyperjumpy
Current Music: Crooked Teeth ~ Death Cab for Cutie
Tags: , , , ,
So...I need more posts apparently. And I'd love to write more, only I think my fingers may fall off and do a little dance before leaving me fingerless if I abuse them any further. 

Um...I wish I could write something interesting but all I can think of right now is a unicorn shitting out lollipops and as fucked-up as that sounds it's not all that bad to imagine. And just because I said that, I'm gonna draw y'all a picture (and yes I had to use a Texan accent because of these guys: 



They're hot shit, bro. Watch Supernatural.)

Anyway here's that picture of that unicorn shitting out lollipops. 
You'll notice that I added some shit along with the lollipops. Why? Pffttt, Asbestos can't be seen to be shitting lollipops without defecating even a little. (Yes his name is Asbestos) And I also added a rainbow because I felt it would be appropriate to emphasize it's ... unicornity. And yeah Asbestos loves me. Times a million -- and one. 

Um...Okay, I don't feel like typing any more. 

NO WAIT I DO! 

Happy Valentines Day, Eddie. I wuuuuuvvvv you. Thank you for providing me with free episodes of gay shows (QAF, Degrassi, yaoi) and fandom sites and porn (hahaha, JK...I think I'll do an Enlightenment on porn later) and gifs and graphics and ... yeah. I don't know why I'm thanking you. It's not Thanksgiving.

Although I wish it was. I really, really want some sweet potato pie right now. 

'Kay bye.

~P

Cloud's silver lining

A volte non voglio esistere

Posted on 2011.02.08 at 19:40
Current Location: Gliese 581-d
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: Take Me Somewhere Nice by Mogwai
Tags: , , , ,
Evidently enough, I'm going to rant a little a lot.

I feel like this all the time:
 
i'm a loser don'treadthisCollapse )
 

Wheee!

Be nice Eddie

Posted on 2011.02.02 at 01:39
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Creature Fear ~ Bon Iver
Tags: , , , , , ,
I did it.

I'm sixteen.

This is what I'm feeling:



 
But at the same time, I feel like this:


Because that's when I realized that I'm not growing up...I'm aging. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP! 

But on another note, I love how everyone was so nice to me. I realize that this is a part of what happens during Womb Emancipation Days (credits for this wording goes to another Silver) but I still can't help but feel warm and fuzzy when people give me hugs and are happy that I am alive. *goes of into loser-trance*

Anyway.

I got this BAMF
bad baby for my big 16th birthday present along with a bunch of smaller stuffs that my mother bought me (bless her, she's the most amazing mother in the entire Mulitverse, I swear it!). And it's a tablet so I can draw you all (by you all I mean the internet...I need a name for you; I'm gonna go do that soon) mind-blowing crappy drawings to help you understand my gibberish. 

But I also recently got a Tumblr. 

That. Site. Is. Addicting. It's worse than heroin. And I know heroin because I did an entire project on it. 

I am also on a quest to find some makeup. "Why?" you ask? Why would Prat want to buy something that is probably tested on animals in China, is disastrous to my skin and completely damages my natural look? 

Simple: Imma cosplaya~

I'm kidnapping anyone in my school who displays even the slightest of Otaku and dragging them to AnimeNEXT with me. And it's going to be glorious. So I'm gonna buy a bunch of makeup stuffs to make me look semi-decent so I don't embarrass my friends. =P 

On a side note (again) I've come to realize that a lot of my friends are going through a hard time lately. Each of them has a different problem and it sucks because there is not a lot I can do. What sucks even more is that I really wish I could do something because this is the first time I felt so protective of them. So please Eddie (I finally named the Internet) tell other people to be nice to people around them so that they can have a less of a hard time. Really, it makes a difference.

And...DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN, HELP ME! I'm reading The Great Gatsby by the androgynous F. Scott Fitzgerald and I'm slashing

I'm going to repeat that: I'm slashing. Gatsby x Nick

I am such a loser.

Bye.

Happy Birthday to me~ 


Until I feel the need to talk again, Eddie~

~P


Previous 10